The Truth Will Set You Free

This trip to Germany has been a goldmine of new discoveries, as journeys of this sort often are, but none have been so revolutionary for me as the uncovering of a deception. My entire life has been shrouded in a sea of lies, and only now can I see them for what they really are.

My father would push us all to the right side of the road, which was also the "right" side for us to walk on. Then he would say, "It's because I'm German".

I grew up believing that in order to properly be German, there were certain rules you had to abide by:

• Walk on the right side of the sidewalk
• Stand on the right side of the escalator and walk on the left
• Never stop in the middle of the sidewalk and block the path
• Walk quickly and with purpose
  
• Be meticulously clean: There are proper ways to wash dishes, cars, silverware, a correct way to vacuum and dust
• Cook, cook well, and clean while you cook
• Eat until your plate is clean
• Eat with a fork and knife-with the proper finger placement and in the appropriate hands
• Be efficient.
  
• The list goes on and on...

As a child, I dreamed of a place where the rules were unspoken and everyone just knew what the proper way was and acted on it. A little patch of land across the world where everyone was right all the time.

That place, I am sorry to report, does not exist.
These ridiculous customs are not (from what I can see) German, they belong solely to my father and whoever taught him.

Maybe the Germany of my dreams once existed, maybe it exists elsewhere in the country. Not Berlin. Blame the tourists, maybe, but the reality is:

• People walk slowly, and then stop, for no apparent reason, in the middle of the street.
• They will stop in front of stairs, escalators, in the door of the train, anywhere they decide they want to stop
• They will also walk directly into you no matter what side of the street you are on.
• I haven't seen many homeless, but there is often a distinct scent of urine.
• At the restaurants, people eat however they want, and often leave their plates a mess. (Though I did see one couple eat a hamburger with a fork and knife-as I often do-so kudos to them)
• Children here are out of control
• Food vendors, including grocery stores, often do not care about flies or BIRDS in their stores/restaurants

The list goes on and on.

I was promised order. I was lied to.

There is a time in every person's life, when the fallacies of their childhood crumble before their eyes. I thought I had already had that moment long ago. Perhaps this was the last stronghold of the untruths. Unfortunately, I think not.